Gute Jokes.
> Giving up wine.
>
> I was walking down the street
> when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking woman
> who asked my for a couple of dollars for something to eat.
>
> I took out my wallet
> and got out ten dollars.
> But then I asked; " If I give you this money,
> will you buy wine with it instead?"
>
> "No" the homeless woman replied, "I had to stop drinking years ago."
>
> "Will you go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.
>
> "No" the homeless woman said, "I don't waste time shopping. I need to spend
> anything I can get trying to stay alive."
>
> "Will you spend this money on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked
> "Ha!" replied the homeless woman, "Are you
> crazy?! I haven't had my hair done in 20
> years!"
>
> "Well," I said,"I'm not going to give you the
> money. Instead I'm going to take you out to
> dinner with
> my husband and me tonight."
>
> The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your
> husband be angry with you for doing that?
> I'm very dirty and shabby, and I think I must smell pretty disgusting."
>
> "That's absolutely fine," I replied, "It's
> important for him to see what a woman looks
> like
> after she has given up wine, shopping and hair appointments."
>
>
> I was walking down the street
> when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking woman
> who asked my for a couple of dollars for something to eat.
>
> I took out my wallet
> and got out ten dollars.
> But then I asked; " If I give you this money,
> will you buy wine with it instead?"
>
> "No" the homeless woman replied, "I had to stop drinking years ago."
>
> "Will you go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.
>
> "No" the homeless woman said, "I don't waste time shopping. I need to spend
> anything I can get trying to stay alive."
>
> "Will you spend this money on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked
> "Ha!" replied the homeless woman, "Are you
> crazy?! I haven't had my hair done in 20
> years!"
>
> "Well," I said,"I'm not going to give you the
> money. Instead I'm going to take you out to
> dinner with
> my husband and me tonight."
>
> The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your
> husband be angry with you for doing that?
> I'm very dirty and shabby, and I think I must smell pretty disgusting."
>
> "That's absolutely fine," I replied, "It's
> important for him to see what a woman looks
> like
> after she has given up wine, shopping and hair appointments."
>
"Es ist ausgesprochen verdrießlich, so etwas Revolutionäres wie Sarkasmus erfunden zu haben und mit ansehen zu müssen, wie es von Amateuren missbraucht wird."
Motivation für die Weihnachtszeit?
- Dateianhänge
-
- s_David_is_returning_to_Italy_.DOC
- (115 KiB) 213-mal heruntergeladen
"Es ist ausgesprochen verdrießlich, so etwas Revolutionäres wie Sarkasmus erfunden zu haben und mit ansehen zu müssen, wie es von Amateuren missbraucht wird."
-
Alekto
- Gelegenheitstrinker
- Beiträge: 234
- Registriert: Fr Jul 06, 2007 9:27 am
- Wohnort: Klbg
- Kontaktdaten:
Das eben verspeißte Gulasch hockt im Magen und starrt so vor sich hin.
Da kommt plötzlich ein Schnaps vorbei und das Gulasch fragt erstanunt: "Wer bist du denn?"
"Ich bin ein Schnaps - mich hat der Meier gerade spendiert"
Kurz darauf kommt noch ein Schnaps vorbei und das Gulasch fragt wieder: "Wer bist du denn?"
Darauf der Schnaps: "Ich bin ein Schnaps und mich hat der Meier spendiert"
Danach kommen noch weitere 5 Schnäpse mit derselben Antwort beim Gulasch vorbei, worauf das Gulasch schließlich sagt: "Hm, Ihr habt mich richtig neugierig gemacht - jezt schau ich mir den Meier mal an"
Da kommt plötzlich ein Schnaps vorbei und das Gulasch fragt erstanunt: "Wer bist du denn?"
"Ich bin ein Schnaps - mich hat der Meier gerade spendiert"
Kurz darauf kommt noch ein Schnaps vorbei und das Gulasch fragt wieder: "Wer bist du denn?"
Darauf der Schnaps: "Ich bin ein Schnaps und mich hat der Meier spendiert"
Danach kommen noch weitere 5 Schnäpse mit derselben Antwort beim Gulasch vorbei, worauf das Gulasch schließlich sagt: "Hm, Ihr habt mich richtig neugierig gemacht - jezt schau ich mir den Meier mal an"
I like maxims that don't encourage behaviour modification.
(Calvin)
(Calvin)
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. . .
"You all have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said,"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom."Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom."Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving".
"You all have obsessions, " he observed.
To the first mother, he said,"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom."Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom."Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving".
"Es ist ausgesprochen verdrießlich, so etwas Revolutionäres wie Sarkasmus erfunden zu haben und mit ansehen zu müssen, wie es von Amateuren missbraucht wird."
